Thursday, January 21, 2010

"Just Give Me a Ticket to Wherever My Luggage is Going..."

I have yet to lose my luggage while traveling.
Maybe someday I will and it just might not be a bad thing.

So imagine there were flights where you could travel and pack all that baggage you’ve been carrying around all your life and the airline you’re flying would guarantee to lose it for you. How popular would that be? I am thinking lines of the wrecked and weary lined up at the counter, bags packed full of their life 'stuff' all ready to be left somewhere. People arriving at their destinations knowing their regrets, guilt, and bad habits would be lost for good. Who cares about frequent flyer mileage, this is the flight with no black out dates and everyone arrives thrilled... delays notwithstanding.
No waiting at baggage claim here at Air Take-it-all-Away. It’s flying coach with your coach.

Sayonara,
Ciao,
Bye-bye.

You ask, where can I buy tickets for family and friends? Tell them, "Pack as much as you can," Yep, "No need to travel light there", and why not? We like to lipo our lipids, dump the toxic waste, and eradicate anything that keeps us from enjoying our "best life". Isn't emotional baggage just dragging us down anyway?

So my theory is that the next time you travel, imagine each neatly folded shirt some emotional crutch that is making you dependant and sucking the life out of you. Tightly wrapped socks packed in there, yes, just a regret holding you back. Ratty sneakers? Think of them as leftover guilt preventing you from moving forward. Those starched undies? They are untapped potential strangled by some hidden childhood trauma. Baggage, who needs it? So when that day comes when some airline eventually loses my luggage. That lucky stained sweatshirt will no longer be a prized possession lost, but simply a ragged piece of life-choking wreckage from my overstuffed life's baggage begging to be dumped.

Not a bad way to kill two birds with one heavily-weighted samsonite.
Now the only dilemma, what happens if it was insured?


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