Sunday, August 23, 2009

Believing Our Thoughts

I am always what I believe you to be in this moment.
You are simply a personal reflection of who I am being right now.

Aren't the real life battles we fight in life just a replay of the battles we have in our own head? True conflict exists only in the mind. When I am angry it is only with myself. It is just me imagining that anyone outside of my own thoughts can hurt me. It is funny truly, when you come to that realization. The idea that it is not what someone says that hurts, but whether you believe that what they said is true. That is painful. How odd to suddenly discover that I inflict my own discomfort. I am the cause of my own pain. If what someone says doesn't resonate with me, I feel no pain. If I believe that what you said may have a kernel of truth, it hurts.

No one can disrespect me, I can only disrespect myself. This happens when I believe my thoughts. Every battle is internal, only we imagine it externally when it manifests outside our self. Anger has that power. It is an electricity that is palpable to the senses and when it builds up inside your body it is like a lightening bolt seeking a discharge. Lightening needs a place to strike, to disburse and diffuse its energy. However, when it is allowed to pass through an object unobstructed it does little or no damage. But, when there is resistance to it, when we hold that energy, or rail against it, it causes the most harm.

When similar energy builds in our mind, when we believe a thought that contradicts a belief we hold, we feel anger. When we take it personally, we internalize it and make it our own. Author Miguel Ruiz writes in "The Four Agreements" that nothing in the universe is ever truly personal. We personalize things as an act of ego. I can see that blame when directed outward is belligerence, and when directed inward will manifest as depression. The impulse to defend is our mind seeking to bolster the illusion that it somehow needs to protect itself. But isn't the joke that we are only fighting ourselves?
The good news here is that if we are the cause, then we are also the cure.

I can only see you as myself because that is my only reference. How can I know you as anything other than what I see and experience? This happens when I come to the conclusion that there is only one, and that one is who we all are. All conflict is resolved when we come to see that it is never really about the other, no matter what it may look like on the outside. Because when I stop the argument with myself, I stop the argument with the world.

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